The Friday Five: Feed My Soul

About a week ago, a friend whose opinion I value greatly messaged me with a question: should I really be framing this Friday (sometimes Saturday) series as what's saving my life this week? It sounds "like if you didn't have these things you would kill yourself," she wrote. "Why does your life need to be saved?"

It made me realize - rather naively, I admit - that this phraseology is a heavy concept for many people that has nothing to do with the light and lovely things of this world.

Why does my life need saving? I'm not dying, not sick, not depressed. At this moment in life, I have a solid mental and physical base from which to start each day. After all, it's not like these five people/places/things + honorable mentions are keeping me alive.

And yet...

I originally got the phrase and concept from Barbara Brown Taylor, specifically her book An Altar in the World (a book that, full disclosure, I haven't finished yet). She writes:

"Many years ago, a wise old priest invited me to come speak at his church in Alabama. 'What do you want me to talk about?' I asked him.

"'Come tell us what is saving your life now,' he answered. It was as if he had swept his arm across a dusty table and brushed all the formal china to the ground. I did not have to try to say correct things that were true for everyone. I did not have to use theological language that conformed to the historical teachings of the church. All I had to do was figure out what my life depended on. All I had to do was figure out how I stayed as close to that reality as I could, and then find some way to talk about it that helped my listeners figure out those same things for themselves."  [Emphasis mine.]

As soon as I finished reading my friend's message last week, I went back to that passage to make sure it was as deep and meaningful as I had first thought. It was. I then went back to some of my Friday Five blog posts to see if they stacked up. Well... My life definitely does not depend on "Girl Scout cookies + The West Wing," one of my entries from last week. Some moments in a week are superficial, yes. But does it not still mean that they help the stresses of the week in some way? Maybe that's what I'm trying to say by "saving my life" - getting me through the week. Not that I wouldn't get through the week without it, but these little things can make it better.

BBT also writes: "...What is saving my life now is becoming more fully human, trusting that there is no way to God apart from real life in the real world." [Emphasis mine.]

I think that idea - becoming more fully human, real life in the real world as a way to God, trying to share moments of goodness in my life so that other people recognize theirs... Is what I want to convey with these posts. Even in the midst of the silly and superficial, most of what I find sticking out to me in a week stems from experiences with people. And those do make my life worth living. They give me joy and feed my soul. 

I'm grateful to my friend for making me think about this more deeply, and consider how "saving my life" might come across to some. I don't think I'm done thinking about it, and if you have any thoughts, I'd love to hear them.

Finally, to get down to business a day late...

1. We had a lovely family dinner - parents, brother, grandmother - at my folks' house last Friday night. It was a great way to end a long week, sitting around the same table eating spaghetti.

Thanks to Joseph McBrayer for the photo!

2. Our church had a volunteer event last Saturday packing meals for Stop Hunger Now, and I loved the fellowship it brought to our Fellowship Hall. I packed meals with a woman I call my honorary mama (the mom of one of my childhood friends) and two guys currently in our youth program. It was fun to talk with them about the similarities and differences of our beloved youth group ten years ago and now. One similarity: our group still has a penchant for belting "Bohemian Rhapsody" at the top of our lungs. Then the song actually came on over the speakers, and soon everyone was singing. All through this, we were packing upwards of 40,000 meals for people around the world. If there's a Stop Hunger Now event near you, you should definitely sign up.

3. A writing class participant told me that the class feels like John Wesley's Class Meeting. I took this as a huge compliment. Wesley is the founder of the Methodist denomination of Christianity, and back in the early days, he started the Class Meeting, a small group where people shared intimately about their life and faith journey. This is what I want my writing workshops to feel like - a place where people can feel comfortable with the teacher and their peers so they can write what they want to write, share authentically, laugh and cry. It meant a lot to me.

4. I've gotten to exercise every day this week, which has been great. I can really tell a difference when I work in even a 10-minute power walk in the morning.

5. My brain has felt stuffed to the brim these days, and this tends to up my anxiety. But I've gotten a chance to talk to others this week, both to vent and to listen, and it makes me realize that a lot of us are in the same boat. So much is going on this time of year, and our minds are piled with daily tasks, work projects, things we want to do, people to see... I need to remind myself that it's a LOT. And the fact that we can keep most of it straight most of the time is kind of a miracle in itself. So breathe.

I'm also loving my new logo! Read my interview with the designer and my friend Grace Barkley if you missed it on Thursday.

Fine Folks//Creative Callings: Grace Barkley (& my new logo!)

I'm beyond excited to present my new logo today! It was designed and created by one of my dear college friends, Grace Barkley, a graphic designer and writer currently based in Savannah, Georgia. Along with the logo debut, I thought it would also be a great time to launch a new, semi-regular series on the blog: Fine Folks//Creative Callings (FFCC for short?). So many people from different parts of my life are doing fascinating things with theirs, and I hope to be able to share some of their stories here. And who better to start with than Grace? A few things that I love about this lady (besides her artistic gifts!): she listens deeply, has a great sense of humor, can do a mean (as in good) British accent, and makes a scrumptious chocolate chip scone.

How did you first discover your love of art?

It was in the first grade, in Mrs. Andrus’ art class. She would demonstrate how to make a particular drawing or painting, and I would follow in rapt attention. She had rainbow stripes painted above each utility sink in the classroom. One, with red, orange and yellow - warm colors. One, with green, blue and purple - cool colors. I only wished my mom would have let me paint my walls the same. Later, I remember Mrs. Andrus calling me the “girl with the pearl earring” after the poster of the famous Vermeer painting that hung on the classroom wall. She said I looked like her. At first (as an elementary schooler) I thought it was weird. Now, I think it might have been my early introduction to art history.

Grace and I (fifth & sixth from the left) had a ball serving with ASP in college with our Methodist Fellowship group.

In college, you and I took a writing class called "Writing with Readers in Mind" (I may or may not have had to look that title up in my packrat email folder...), and I recall being impressed with your authentic voice as a writer even then. Did your desire to write connect with your passion for art, or did they develop separately?

I think writing was always something that I loved, but it was so wrapped up in standardized tests and stress and grade school traumas that I didn’t consider it enjoyable until college. Being shy, writing gave me a chance to formulate what I was trying to say. There wasn’t the stress of stumbling over my words like with public speaking. Writing for me is not exclusive from art-making. I consider words just another medium that I can experiment with and a means for taking a reader/viewer on a journey.

You did your MFA at SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design) - what experiences there impacted you the most in terms of figuring out your vocation?

I came to SCAD to study graphic design in 2011. I was ready to learn about software and tinker with programs that weren’t available at my liberal arts college. After a couple of trying quarters and a loss of passion, I took an elective in the writing department. My soul woke up. I hadn’t gotten too entrenched in the graphic design program, so I tossed those courses toward my elective credits and plowed forward in my new department.

The most powerful thing I learned at SCAD was from my professor Beth Concepcion. One day in class, she ran through a list of literally the most horrible websites known to mankind. I might have to email her for the list now that I’m remembering this. We reviewed each, first marveling that something like this existed on the Internet, and then went to work redoing the site’s wireframe. Her takeaway was this: “There is always someone who needs help with writing.” It was her retort to parents and other naysayers that wondered how their child was going to make it in this field. And here, she had a small bundle of proof from an even larger haystack of written media in need of help.

When I get discouraged about finding freelance work, I remind myself that there are plenty of people that need help. They might know they need it, or want it, or maybe they have no clue. One assumption I also learned to tackle in school was that no one is interested in your expertise. If we are passionate and learned in a subject, it is so commonplace to us that we forget it is totally novel to another. Don’t be shy in sharing what you know. You never know if the person you are talking to might need your help.

A couple of years ago, you turned me on to an organization that I wish was in my town. It's called Deep Center, and it's a nonprofit that runs writing workshops and programs for public middle school students. What did you do with the organization, and what would you most want people to know about it?

I was a writing fellow for two semesters with Deep at my neighborhood middle school. Every week, my partner and I planned workshops to share with a group of 10-15 students who stayed after school to be in what most of them considered an elite kind of club. All of the students were chosen by their teachers. Some needed more basic help with writing. Some were prolific creative writers that needed an outlet.

Deep is about writing, but it is also about providing students with a voice and ensuring they are heard on a larger scale as they contribute their perspectives to the community. After each semester of Deep, there is a reading called Deep Speaks. Writers, selected by their classmates, get to share their piece in a historic theatre in downtown Savannah. This is event is open to the public. There is a red carpet of sorts, photographers, bound books with a piece from every student, and a whole lot of middle school energy!

The thing I most want people to know is that Deep started small, as most things do. The program has grown from just two to fourteen middle schools. All students are able to participate in Deep for free. Each student is supported by a scholarship ($19/month or $228/year) to support full-time staff members, facilities and materials. This past year was special because Deep received the highest honor in the country for youth programming, the National Arts and Humanities Youth Program Award. Deep’s director and one very lucky Deep kid got to accept the award in D.C. and meet Michelle Obama. There is something to be said for the collective effort of a community. If everyone comes together for a cause, things can grow exponentially. You can learn more about Deep Center here.

I've been so impressed with your ability to take my abstract ideas for a logo and put them so solidly "on paper." How do you initially approach a graphic design project, especially when it might be a client that you don't know personally and you need to get a sense of their style, etc.?

Whether I know them or not, I ask a lot of questions. I ask for examples of existing work that they like. Sometimes, I even create a private Pinterest board where we can both dump images and inspiration. One of my favorite things to do is ask the client for an image they like, usually a photograph or piece of fine art to draw color inspiration from. People derive distinct feelings from photographs and art, so it’s easier to lift colors and therefore a feeling from them. If a client just gives adjectives like “airy, clean and crisp,” it gives me something to work with, but I’m not always sure what that looks like in their mind. It helps to have a visual definition.

What's your favorite part of the design process?

My favorite part of the design process is presenting the (typically) three final options. This is where the process goes from more broad to narrow, picking apart minute differences instead of general style. I’m always curious to see which of the three concepts the client will pick. Often, we have the same favorite, sometimes we don’t. If they are determined to use a motif or style of design that in my design sense just doesn’t jive, I try and offer advice. Ultimately, it is up to the client, but I try and help them see it from the eye of someone who might be seeing their business online or in person for the first time.

You and I both work full-time in communications, and do our freelance work during off hours. How do you think your day job strengthens and influences your design work, and vice versa?

My day job gives me tons of experience working with different kinds of people. Every day I learn something about reading people and/or understanding their needs when it comes to a project. Empathy is a great skill to practice as a designer. Clients range from super pragmatic and mathematical to being really creative themselves. It is important to learn how to work with all types of people, but still assert your expertise.

My day job, though it has some design elements, is more administrative. I’m often using templates and not creating brand new pieces. Freelancing gives me a more creative outlet.

Finally: How do you celebrate when a project is done?

I'm surprised to not really have an answer here! I think it’s because I never consider a relationship with a client to be completely closed. As long as they are using my work for their business, I feel linked. Now that you ask though, I think I might need to create some sort of celebratory habit. But, there is nothing like the feeling of a happy client.

And you sure have a happy client over here. Thanks, Grace, for making me look good, and for sharing your time and talents! Check out more of Grace's work here.

The Friday Five: Spring Colors

Friend Friday! It's so lovely to see you again. The 90s pop radio station is playing on Pandora, sun is streaming through the windows (okay, clearly I started writing this earlier than I'm posting it), and I'm thinking about what's been saving my life this week...

1. More parental help with the yard, more repayment with food. My dear in-laws came over on Saturday morning for a homemade waffle breakfast (which, I am proud to tell you, I had nothing to do with) in exchange for some weeding and helping us get our raised bed (featuring tomato and cucumber seeds) in place. It was a gorgeous morning to work together outside!

Our landlords put in this bounty of blossoms that we get every year. Love!

2. Girl Scout cookies + The West Wing. My husband is in the midst of baseball season - working and playing - and so it means I get some weekend afternoons to myself. And what have I been doing? Popping Thin Mints and digging into the stories of Jed Bartlet's administration for the first time ever. I know, my late timing is pretty pathetic. But at the same time, I've savoring the "simplicity" of Sorkinese government when everything in real life politics is bordering on insane these days. Escapism at its finest.

3. Celebrating Pop-Pop's memory. It meant a lot to gather at my grandfather's grave on what would have been his 89th birthday with my parents, grandmother, one aunt and one uncle, and laugh and tell stories as the sun went down.

4. Writing group. You'll have to read this to know what happened, but let's just say I've been meditating on it a lot and the experience feels life-saving (and convicting) all at the same time.

5. The Colorful Choices Challenge! Our office just started a contest to see who can eat the most helpings of fruits and vegetables for the next few weeks, and it's - dare I say it? - fun! Mostly because there's an app that helps you track your helpings, so it feels like a bonus incentive to see your number of points go up in a day. Hey, it's the little things! And if they happen to be healthy, all the better.

Honorable mentions: a mindful meal at work, new books (Wendell Berry, Helen Simonsen, Ruth Reichl), a new journal from Jessie, breakfast with Mom at The General Muir, making plans to see a good friend when she's in town next month, National Walking Day, social media-less Sunday, exercising everyday, a turkey sighting at work today (see Instagram), the Pope's relationship advice, and finishing up plans for my new logo - coming soon! (Thanks, Grace!)

I'd love to hear your story, friends - what's been saving your life lately?